Zip Wire

On Wednesday, I went on the zip wire. As we walked along to the outdoor activity centre, I felt very excited. I love heights: I get a huge kick out of them. However, when we got there, I started to feel nervous. It was very crowded; there were people all around getting harnesses and helmets. Our group got helmets, and waited for the Centre Parcs staff to help us with harnesses. My helmet felt strange on my head. It was uncomfortable around my ears, but I knew I would much rather be uncomfortable for a while then go up without a helmet!

After a while, a guy came to help us with our harnesses. When he got to me, I was very anxious. This was a stranger. A stranger had to touch me. If you know a fair amount about Autism Spectrum Disorders, you will realise how difficult this realisation was for me. As the man helped me, he chatted casually, and I was painfully aware of my wide eyes. I wondered if he could see my hatred of his touch in my body language, and whether he was offended. He obviously knew, for example, that Jasmine couldn’t climb a ladder. You can see a wheelchair, but you can’t necessarily see an Autism Spectrum Disorder, and I often worry that strangers might take my antipathy towards touch personally…but I digress.

Once we were all ready (physically), we headed out to where the beginning of the zip wire was situated, not all of us actually ready (mentally). When we got there, the staff went over the health and safety rules, and showed us something we had to do to our harnesses, at the end, in order to get down. Here, I had another thing to worry about. There was a lot to remember. We did get to practice, though, which soothed my nerves somewhat.

Jack went first in our group. He was very eager, but when he’d finished, his face was completely white. We all cheered when he went. It looked amazing. So it went on, person after person going in the little tower, climbing up the ladder, and coming out hanging onto a string and dangling their legs in thin air. The one thing I wish I hadn’t done is waiting so long. I should’ve gone sooner, so I didn’t have time to get scared.

Before I describe my own experience, I must mention Abigail’s. Abigail is petrified of heights, but she was determined to face her fear. Before her turn, we were all saying daft things like that they should push her if she got scared. Then when she actually went, she did get scared. She stopped about halfway up the ladder. I was very worried about her, but eventually, she did make it all the way to the top. Then she zipped off and she was fine. In fact, she was ecstatic afterwards, and I understand why. I think she was very brave.

A little while afterwards came my turn. I felt fine going into the tower, but as soon as I saw the ladder, I was terrified. I knew it was firmly attached to the wall, but for some reason, I felt as if it were a rope ladder just hanging from the top. I began to climb, but about halfway through, I panicked and climbed over onto a nearby ledge. Angie, Mrs Saunders and the man who had helped me with my harness all talked to me, trying to comfort me.

I was petrified, but after a while, I took a deep breath and climbed the rest of the way up the ladder. When I got to the top, I was still terrified. My breathing was hard and fast and I was clinging to the edge for dear life (or that’s how it felt at the time, although I couldn’t possibly have fallen to my death). I was convinced that I couldn’t do it…for a few seconds before I did it.

The funny thing is, the scary part wasn’t the actual ride across. All the bits in between were much worse. As soon as I stepped off the ledge, I screamed out in excitement. It was brilliant. A few seconds earlier, I had been terrified. Now I was elated. I also screamed right at the end when it stopped.

Now came the complicated manoeuvre to get down. For quite a while, I was too scared to let go of the rope. I felt like I would fall, even though I knew I wouldn’t. Eventually, though, I let go and got down. Going on the zip wire was difficult, but it was great, and I think if I went on again, I would be less afraid.